Never Beautiful

I was never beautiful.

I hear the silent comments,
The downward glances,
The reflections,
The mirror,
A monster in itself,
What I would give to be beautiful,
What I would give to be alone,
Where is my beauty?
Neither inner nor outer,
Sometimes darkened to the core,
Has the beauty escaped my meager form,
The tears in the dark,
The muffled screams,
Will nothing bring the beauty back,
Or can I not bring back
What I never had.

I was never beautiful.